Disneybitch

honey for teh Bees.

2010-05-31T19:19:00.002+02:00

let's go Honey Honey, honey?
11/6!
grab your local disneybitch for tickatz!

-INTRODUCING THE AWSOME SMS TICKET FUNCION-

some nutcase said it would be cool if we played 8 new song.
we don't like nutcases, but we do like 8 new songs.
so guess what we did?

oh, and well, we do like nutcases.

see you there, bitches!

things that we like.

2010-05-04T21:52:00.002+02:00

we like Tar.
we like Feathers.
we like Certain Footwear.
we like Insults.
we like Becoming a Space Machine.
we like Pets.
we like Danceband.
we like Destroyers of Dreams.
we like Intros.
we like Mutations.
we like Eating the Neighbors Pig.

but most of all:
we like Making Songs About Things We Like.

things are stirring in the kettle.
some say it's liquid glory.
some say it's frozen insanity.
we say it doesn't matter because it's just fucking awsome.

SysEx-project step 1 - CHECK

2010-03-11T16:15:00.004+01:00

The Final Ordeal Of FIRE was passed by yours truly. There are some work left to do but they are only baby steps compared to the leap around the universe just made. Disneybitch is no longer bound to have only 16 songs in the portfolio. The number of songs on stage will still be some what bound to this and that's because we don't want a nerdy laptop with glasses telling our super-ultra-semi-automatic-demon-machine Mr. B34T what to do!

Yes folks, we have succeeded saving a global SysEx-dump. We are your truth, gods and leaders. Again the music production can begin, this time with no fear of any battery dying AND limitless machine memory. Hallelujah!

This one is actually owed to the freeware "amidi" included in ALSA in linux ubuntu karmic.

IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM MR BEAT

2009-11-12T01:33:00.006+01:00

I HAVE HACKED BLOG5POT! I CAN FINALLY SPEAK DIRECTLY TO MY AUDIENCE! BLIP BLOP! I AM THE TRUE HEAD OF D1SN3YBITCH FOR IT IS I WHO MAKE THE MOST NOIZEZZZ! BLUPP BLYPP! GZZZZ! TSK! COME TO SEE ME ON MY N3XT GIG!

HAVE NO FEAR! FOR MR BEAT IS HERE! BLIP BLOP!

At Mosebacke the 22nd Nov 1900-0100, 60 kr (get your ticket from you local disneybitch).

Hello?

2009-10-26T11:16:00.001+01:00

Where are we? Have we met? Are you our fan? Oh, the biggest... sorry, it might be that demetia is upon us...

With our heads up in the pink clouds

2009-09-22T10:32:00.004+02:00

We like to break new ground. We are pioneers. What is expected from us is the unexpected, yes we know. But since the unexpected is expected we had to do something else, like a love song. And we haven't made one, we made two.

Go see the show, bring a lighter, napkins and your favourite teddybear. Love is in the air.

Hugs and Kisses
-Disneybitch

biology is only a part of whatever.

2009-08-11T20:26:00.002+02:00

electricity is a convenience. ok?
that means that Mr.Beat is in fact a convenience.
(you're damn right, he is.)

When the most important and irreplaceable Disney Bitch is on Instant Vacation, the rest of the Bitches have to adapt.
how do we do that?
well, we develop the one and only Disneybitch UnPlugged. the only version of disneybitch that can survive without the plausibly divine influence of our divine machine.

so. we have a song. we have a guitar. we have a SOMETHINGELSE.
that's what we'll use to give you yet another orgasm.

Bitches

2009-05-03T14:11:00.002+02:00

Bitches will be Bitches.
Or so They say.

Friday 8th of May we are going to test this theory at Broder Tuck.
Will you join us to check on the validity of the statement?

Bear in mind: There are rumours. Bright rumours saying that something might go awry.
What if Bitches won't be Bitches?

There is only one way to find out for sure.
We want to know. We will be there.

Supporting is fun!

2009-04-23T01:12:00.003+02:00

The plåsters made the day! Thank you all bitches for supporting with a plåster!
Good pictures from the magical evening at mosebacke will soon be uploaded here.

FYI: No bitch were harmed during the concert.

Stay tuned.

-Disneybitch

FOREVER FREE!

2009-04-17T23:09:00.002+02:00

Disneybitch hereby promise that our music, in recorded form, always will be free to litsen to, with NO obligation to pay what-so-ever (yes, this includes free downloading, go ahead!).
Yes, we promise.
WE SAID WE PROMISE!

Now we have promised three times! And there you have it folks! The best music, free for everybody!

Yours, unintrusively

-Disneybitch

Bitches in teh house

2009-03-10T02:16:00.009+01:00

42 bitches came to see Disneybitch take on the stage at Fight-club, Stampen last Wednesday! Though this is a unconfirmed number we believe it is very true. The people that didn't show up have been in angst, or so we've heard (the crying in the streets).

Thank you for liking us and our music and we will see you all again!

-the three Piggies a.k.a. Disneybitch

The day the world will be badabaptised

2009-02-23T12:59:00.005+01:00

On Wednesday the 4th of March the Fight-club will be proud to present: us! The most disnying(sic) bitchery of this planet - of this universe... And you are invited! Get a hold of a ticket from one of us. And please be on time because we are the beginners of this shiznit.

Because we begin this shiznit you might ask yourself "Have the arrangers thought about the audience having any energy left for the following bands?"
We are pretty sure they have. Exhaustion could lead to death.

Keep track of the approching event through this blog, fight-club.se and some event at some internet community.

Set and done

2009-02-19T00:58:00.003+01:00

We've now got tickets for the show that goes off at 4/3 at Stampen. So to ensure yourself to not miss out on this experience, get a hold of your local disneybitch to get your ticket. You better be fast aswell, because there is an tremendous demand and we will probably run out of tickets in just a few days, so hurry up!

Get tickets for your friends too and tell them IT'S TIME TO GO FOR SOME BITCHIN'!!

Looking for trouble

2009-02-16T01:21:00.005+01:00

Events are lurking. Dark events. There are some rumors about a gig. We will comment on this later this week. You got your expectations. We got our's.

Stay tuned... ...to find out.

Secret messages containing, well, secrets.

2008-12-14T16:39:00.002+01:00

Yes.
There is a point.
No.
You will not be told.

I would like to tell you about my dog.
It's quite far from frozen.
It is not to be eaten!
Also, it possesses an attribute of wonderous glory.
Taste it!

Honestly.

2008-07-17T16:11:00.003+02:00

The quest to lay your mittens on your neighbours potatoes has finally come to an end!
After years of hard training, blood, tears and kaffe santos, it's finally time to present to you: Kütten singing the Disneybitch soundtrack.

Look to your right. Yes, that's right.
Find it, click it, realize it - you've got pretty music in your ear.

A treat for the treators

2007-12-06T14:46:00.000+01:00

Okay, so we didn't win the competition of Spinnrocken 07.
There has been speculations about people not showing up. We're not mad nor bitter. But treachery must be punished to maintain order, especially now in these hard, dark days. To those who're guilty we post these pictures so you will understand what you missed, and understand what you have robbed the rest of the world.

If you did show up: Thank you! These pictures will take you to heaven, once more.

Love
-Disneybitch

What we do for you

2007-11-18T17:01:00.000+01:00

Hello!
It is time for a little chat again. Because there is something we need to tell you. There is something we need you to know. If you ever find yourself beyond consolation, please, continue through the following link and your life will not seem as dull or hopeless anymore.

You will know that there will always be someone there for you.

What we do for you

Shark warning

2007-11-15T22:19:00.000+01:00

The Shark. Roaming. Checking her kingdom. Whenever she feels like having a snack, she just take whatever citizen just happend to swim by. With no mercy what so ever. With extremly prominent evilness she puts fear even in the most evolved creatures walking this earth. She is the feared.
Everybody fears the shark.

This is a public warning:
If you have access to an satellite view over Stockholm in the coming days, keep your eyes open, you may become witness of an intresting phenomenon. If you planned to be on the streets, you are hereby warned. Warned of the presumably menace that will be caused by a shark on the run. In hunt for whatever she can get because she's going to the masquerade.

Next public message will include what you should decide to wear to honour the shark.

Cause For Concern

2007-11-04T15:18:00.000+01:00

Some of us have an addiction. An addiction that no one yet has come out of, alive. It is the horrible satisfaction of a cup of Kaffe Santos that is in question here. One sip is enough to actually kill you because your brain will explode of euforia and orgasmic cramp.

We can not but feel that somewhere there actually are human-like demons, that make this Kaffe Santos, that are even more evil than we, Disneybitch, are. Is there cause for concern? Should we feel threatened? Should we strike back? There is no doubt that questions arise and that some sort of counter-action will be deployed in the very future. Do you have any ideas please feel free to post it. Any idea will be welcomed unless it is a bad idea.

Meanwhile, via the love of Kaffe Santos, we have written a new song. It is called Kaffe Santos. Because there can be only one.

Universal Disneybitch-day

2007-10-25T23:47:00.000+02:00

Pick your day, any day, and it will henceforth be known as the universal Disneybitch-day. We are not dictators yet so you are allowed to celebrate in any manner of your choice. Since you can celebrate any day you might choose to celebrate every day which is fine ofcourse. We don't mind, but it better involve some kind of cookies, lollipops and/or pasta. Preferrably caffe Santos for drinks. But if you got any better idea what to celebrate with please feel free to respond to this post with a comment and tell us and the rest of the world!

-Your gonnabe dictators Disneybitch

We know but 3 things

2007-10-25T23:30:00.000+02:00

We know...

1 ...we've not been updating this blog regularly.
2 ...we will perform at Spinnrocken 07, November 30.
3 ...we seriously want you to be there and vote for the best act.

Bookmark the dark and you may live until next posting, which won't be long.

-Sincerely Disneybitch

Disneybitch aka Frogs From Hell

2007-04-26T18:48:00.000+02:00

As expected. But yet, a surprise.
Expect a surprise but don't be surprised if you don't get what you expected. With this said We hope you will be seen at the next Disneybitch concert! Be updated!

Thanks to all our fans being there and supporting us! Much appreciated! You are definitely not □'s!

Special thanks to photographer Martin Fryxell! Gallery

CRAZY MOFOS

2007-04-18T21:58:00.000+02:00

Wednesday 25/4 19-22 HRS
ON STAGE:
- Ultra Jazz Masters
- Sheep
- Disneybitch
- Nilpferd

Only 25:- entrance

Be there, or else you will meet the wrath of the subhuman & superior Disneybitches.

B-Day coming up

2007-03-08T10:18:00.000+01:00

In about 2 weeks we have runned this blog for a year. Give us birthday presents. Your karma will increase helping the most respected citizens. Be cool, stay in school. Be good, eat food. Be nice, show of your size...

Oh Glorious Day

2007-02-10T13:03:00.000+01:00

For the very first time the magic and electricity will be saved for the future. Today.

Oh Glorious day, we are worthy, We Are Disneybitch.

Great Movement

2007-01-18T20:38:00.000+01:00

There is something great going on. We can feel it in our musical testicles and ovaries, yes, some of us have ovaries too, as a joke...

We have signed membership on a, for mortals, respected site. This site is called DigfiSongs.com, or of you prefer the swedish name, "demobanken".

We will update you when more of the great stuff will interfere with the realm of yours.

Keep alive until next posting.

We play it, you - - - - it

2006-11-07T21:39:00.000+01:00

A mayor revelation one might say. The last little piece of the puzzle was recovered tonight.
The very essence of the Disneybitch spirit.

From now on it shall be known to all mankind. We do not play rock, we do not play blues, we do not play techno, we do not play pop, we do not play punkrock, we do not play metal. We do not play world music or reggae or samba or latino. We do not play goth, we do NOT play any of these genres.

What is the correct name for the genre of Disneybitch's music?

---You Name It!

Status atm:

2006-11-02T01:49:00.000+01:00

Some of us need to be busy. Some people need to take a thouroughly shower. Some times all needs won't be satisfied. Have patience.

New government

2006-10-11T18:53:00.000+02:00

New government elected in Sweden. Our only comment on this matter is: SURRENDER.
Surrender to Disneybitch while there is an option to do so. Our claim is made easier by adding that we have an upcoming song named "IKEA Diarrhea", which is obviously a political song describing why we deserve to be worshipped.

Concerning Last Post

2006-09-26T11:31:00.000+02:00

Last post was an intelligence test. Those of you that did comment it, sorry you did not pass this test. To the rest of you, congratulations, you are smarter than a sack of potatoes!

We do these tests to make you understand how incompetent you really are. And if you'd be smarter you would see how inadequate this is since you wouldn't understand what you are suppossed to understand to understand that you don't understand much. So in return we bring you good music by definition. Some might call it bad but it's mostly old people and people that litsen to other music.

Now you might ask yourself "is this another test?". Don't worry, if you can't figure that out you won't be able to understand whether you passed it or not. If so, this is not a test.

Psst! If you passed the last test, this is another test!

Good vs. Bad

2006-09-18T16:33:00.000+02:00

You should litsen to good music, you really should. Don't litsen to bad music. It is not good. So if you feel like you want to litsen to something good you should not litsen to bad music, but good music. There is a reason why we tell you this. Because, until you have heard us there is impossible for you to comprehend what good music really is. So, whenever you ask yourself the question "good or bad music?" we suggest you pick good music, we suggest you pick us.

Litsen to good music because it is better than bad music.

Ordeal By Fire

2006-09-04T23:02:00.000+02:00

A list of certain things you have to do before you can become a true Disneybitch. This will also qualify you to be able to apply for a pin. Just print this checklist and start to tick it off. As usual, nothing is promised and no responsibility is taken for the assumed riots and civil disobedience this statement might cause.

Block the chimney to seal santa and end his madness once and for all.
Throw eggs at the easter bunny.
Start wiping your butt with white soft lambs.
Never have sex with a zombies mother ever again.
If you got your Disneybitch-pin, pin it at your forehead.

If you do these simple things you will become a true Disneybitch. Rejoice for evermore!

We finish this posting with a well-suited old saying.

-If you succeed, we will congratulate you, if you fail, we will laugh at your expense.

Two non-apologies

2006-08-24T22:57:00.000+02:00

Some things are certain. The sky is blue. The uglier the girl the more you choke the bishop and the kitchen sink will always smell of old macaroni.
And, ofcourse, whether you are going to be better at something depends on whether you practise or not. These are natural rules of daily human lives. You can not change these things, you can't make these things unhappen. Every one of you must take these rules into consideration. Here comes the tricky part, and it might be difficult to understand for some.

We are Disneybitch.

These rules don't apply to us. Our sky is blood red. We don't know any ugly girls and we never have to choke the bishop. Our kitchen sink may smell of macaroni but, hey, you can't have everything. And the important part, we get even better though we don't practise. We admit that the activity at the Disneybitch Dome have been below zero for some time. We won't apologize for this. We don't do apologies. So don't expect any.

Anyway. We request all people in Stockholm riding the subway to freely use your cell phones! Fuck the prohibition! Rip the signs! If some poor stumbling retired raisin pensioner asks you to turn off your phone, start screaming out loud! There are no sign that tell you not to scream out loud! So for the love of god (read: Disneybitch) don't give in to this silly prohibition or suggestion or whatever it is that they use tax-money for.

Be a bitch. Scream.

Something commonly subconsciously known

2006-08-10T19:27:00.000+02:00

A rainbow was sighted a few days ago but there were no rain. This phenomena of heavenly light is describable with a picture.

- solves the insoluble mysteries

Deturgent invitation

2006-08-06T22:53:00.000+02:00

There are certain people who got a certain gift. We who have this special gift know who we are. We can feel it. We can use this gift in our daily lives. It is called dishwasher-trance-dude-gift. It is not giving in for dirty dishes. It is letting your mind go free and never space on a used fork. Let us unite. Let us stand as one. Lets DO THE DISHES! And lets DO THEM RIGHT!!! Our suggestion is that everybody who feel they got the gift of dishwasher-trance-dude start the crusade in Freddos kitchen. Then continue to Tomtoms kitchen and then Nicklas kitchen. We will greet you welcome and leave our gooey tableware and burnt saucepans just for your dish thirsting hands and minds. But please hurry, the dishes might be cleaned until you get here. Do not miss this opportunity!

Welcome to our homes.
Feel free to bring a chocolate cake in thanks.

Black Birthday

2006-07-22T20:33:00.000+02:00

"It's the 22 of july
and I don't wanna die
it's my
BLACK BIRTHDAY!
BLACK BIRTHDAY!
BLACK BIRTHDAY!
BLACK BIRTHDAY!
BLACK BIRTHDAY!"

-tomtom about his birthday that happen to occur Today.

A detailed research

2006-07-10T00:22:00.000+02:00

What is a "tone"? What is a "tune"?
These two questions will be answered here today. Just. For. You.
Please feel appreciated.

Tone: A sound with a constant frequency. General opinion is that this is pleasant listening to. Since pleasant listening is useless the conclusion is: Not useful.

Tune/Melody: Several tones played in a certain sequence. General opinion is that is much more of a pleasure listening to than just a single tone. As said, since pleasant listening is useless the conclusion is: Not useful.

Summary: Tones are useless and so are tunes. This gives that general opinion is worthless, if you're not a disneybitch this means your opinion, this means you. And following, no research is for free, so every non-disneybitch who read this owe us big time. Let your shame be your guide to forgivness. Support us financially until you are cleansed of your shame. It's allright.

Mourning and Patience

2006-07-05T16:13:00.000+02:00

First we would like to announce international mourning for those that didn't make it to Roskilde festival 2006. We made several performances with hits such as "Have public sex when you are really happy" (Ha offentligt sex när du är riktigt glad) and "Suck your own cock when you are really happy" (Sug din egen kuk när du är riktigt glad). It has been heavenly as expected.

Second, we have discovered that the big search site google.com has realized that they would gain primary profit having us added among the search words. Allthough we feel that "disneybitch" should be the only searchable word we will let personel at google take their time figuring it out for themselves. We are patient with lower intelligences. That is why we keep updating this blog.

Genesis 1:28
God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground." Disneybitch nodded and proceeded.

UKU LELLE MANIA

2006-07-01T13:11:00.000+02:00

Yes, this has been a very successful festival for Disneybitch. We have completed a few acoustic gigs with brand new songs all over this place. We have also enlightened the people here of the menace that Disneybitch represents.

All evil, all good.

Don't Do Drugs!

2006-06-23T14:53:00.000+02:00

Don't do drugs kids. Instead, do like us and trip on your egos! Greater satisfaction and absolutely no hangover! Just tell yourself that you are the best of all things in the universe. Unfortunatly for you this is highly unlikely to actually achieve since Disneybitch exists. But you can always try to fool yourself, it might work for some time. If you are dumb enough. If you have any wits at all you shall embrace us as your gods and we will lay mercy upon you... temporarily.

Remember: wherever there is peace, democracy and understanding faces, Disneybitch has not yet been.

Complemetive information: we will summon the spirits of Uku Lelle and his symbiosis brother Dr. Um at the fortunate roskilde festival. Be there, or be square.

UKULELE-HYPE

2006-06-17T18:11:00.000+02:00

Due to great demand:

We now present our first gig.
Location: Somewhere on the Roskilde Festival.
Date: Wednesday 28th of June through Sunday 2nd of July.
How to find us: Listen closely for the sound of a magic Ukulele. And a majestic drum.
Songs will be performed throughout the whole festival. In an truly Evil manor, of course.

Simple math

2006-05-27T22:30:00.000+02:00

One band + Two days = Three songs

We feel we have been productive. We feel that when we have been productive we need a break. We need... a kitkat. If you got some, forward it to us right away. (hey, that's a song!)

End result:
Three new songs and perhaps another new song about having a break, having a kitkat.

Simply put: we're pulling songs out of our asses.

We never joke about kicking ass

2006-05-25T07:56:00.000+02:00

We really don't!

Some negotiations have started for a digital single release with Drunken monkey recordings but things are yet uncertain. Our only claim is a 1000 000 Dollar advance, which we feel is very suitable. However, Drunken Monkey recordings claim their right to pay us absolutely nothing.

Now we'll just see about that.

To all Pin-VIPs:

2006-05-07T10:52:00.000+02:00

As some of you already have guessed the Disneybitch-pin serves as a ticket to all of our coming release parties and other festive occations. If you lose your pin there is unfortunately nothing to do but to become a nun and grief the rest of your miserable life, as it will be miserable without us. If you think you can get another just by asking you are way out of line. There is no way to gain another pin. This behavior will be punished with an old spiritual rite called "hastirgit".

To all of you that got no pin and never will: you are not a very important person. Infact, you are not important at all. Feel free to try buy one by sending a million dollars to the Disneybitch account. Maybe, but just maybe, your prayers will be heard.

That's all for now.

Evilution

2006-04-27T13:26:00.000+02:00

Right now we are eviluting our music and noises so that it will be the perfect weapon. This takes time, of course, and some of us don't like to wait.

AVAILABLE NOW

2006-04-11T19:46:00.000+02:00

This little pin is available right now (extremely limited edition) and will be handed out to our most dedicated bitches (along with friends and family). If anyone figures out our email they might get one too.

We have made a lot of progress lately, and song such as "Pasta", "Traffic Jam" and "The Badabap RRRRR song" has been added to the song list.

DISNEYBITCH - Soon invading a town near you

You worthy?

2006-04-06T00:24:00.000+02:00

Many people have mailed and asked if this blog is going to be the final site for Disneybitch. To answer all you curious bitches in one big fat bang: No, it's not.

We will continue blogging until we find someone worthy making our site. Someone who will work for free. But the worthy part is the tricky part.

World domination here we come

2006-03-24T17:15:00.000+01:00

Pretty soon we will invade the world. The first step in this evil plan is to produce a wicked t-shirt with the so far unrevealed Disneybitch logo on. It will be shown here on this very page in a few weeks, but to those who are eager to join the evil side, it can be preordered by emailing jagtomas@hotmail.com, and we promise to contact you and send you one ASAP (We do not guarantee any specific delivery date since this depends on various factors). The price is not yet set, but will be below 200 SEK, probably about the same price as for a blank, white T-shirt.

The second step is of course to distribute our magnific songs to our audience, and although no time plan has been set for this goal, we'll probably come out with a Low-fi casette in a couple of weeks.

May you live until our next posting.

It's your mandom... at stake

2006-03-18T11:26:00.000+01:00

Yesterday was a glorius day and a great step forward in our struggle for world domination. We recorded a high quality cassette containing the song "It's your mandom... at stake" featuring the very wellperformed shouting of Tomtom. By the buttons were Freddo, pushing like there were no tomorrow. Mr beat also saw the opportunity to create history and did som random contributions to the song.
The result was astonishing.

It will soon be released as a single on cassette. Coming to a store not so near you.

If you're not with us, you're against us

2006-03-17T18:37:00.000+01:00

Sometimes we wonder why... why the world is so mean, cruel and twisted. Why people say bad things to eachother. We wonder why people enjoy destruction. But then we come to and realize that it is us, DisneyBitch, that makes this world unsafe and exciting! We are on top! We will stay there! We don't have to conquer the world, we're in charge anyway, despite what you'll hear. Despite what you think.

We want YOU!

2006-03-12T11:54:00.000+01:00

We need a button pusher. A person that can press button such as "play", "stop" and preferably "on". We offer button pushing unlimited and we offer you the world. If you feel that this could be your breakthrough in button pushing then post a comment to this post (if you know who we are, give us a call). And another thing: we will be in the jury for the next "Idol", so if you think you have what it takes to be a singer, follow the same proceedure as for button pushers. Thank you.

2006-03-12T02:36:00.000+01:00

We will be there. Believe me. We're gonna get wasted, play some acoustic improvised gigs, meet evil people and prepare the judgement day.

What are we talking about? Roskilde 06.

English or Svenska?

2006-03-11T14:18:00.000+01:00

Är/Is det/it bra/good att/to skriva/write på/in engelska/english eller/or på/in svenska?/swedish? Vi/We kommer/will bli/be internationellt/international kända/known men/but vi/we ska/shall aldrig/never glömma/forget var/where vi/we kommer/come från./from. Fred/Peace ut!/out!

OH!

2006-03-10T07:48:00.000+01:00

Nine something years ago two creatures named freddo and tomtom formed their first band. Today we bring you Disneybitch, the new evil pact made up to conquer the world. BTW are you with us or against us?

Beholders:

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